I made a new friend
I'm afraid of even saying so... in case I 'jinx' it.
Why is it so hard to make friends when you get older?
Maybe cool is different now, and I'm not cool anymore. I know I thought I was, once. When I was at University, I felt like an invincible 20-something year old, independent, free-thinking physicist.
Anyway, I digress. I have a new friend. And she thinks I am all of those things - except a nearly 40-something year old. Perhaps it is only I that thinks less of me now. I no longer feel invincible. I've had plenty of rejections to know that I'm not THAT special. Sure, I'm intelligent, independent, problem-solver and I usually get what I want. But not always, and I have to work for it. I've seen it come easy to some, but not that easy for me.
Don't get me wrong, I live a pretty easy and privelleged life. But I also know that it takes work. Stuff isn't always black and white, and sometimes you need to break your own rules to get ahead. You need to find some compromise between your principles and the way the world works.
This uncertainty about myself comes from a more 'looking before I leap' attitude to things. I'm just a bit more cautious about rushing to conclusions. I've generally been one to do so... and had regrets later. My husband is quite the opposite. Thinks things through, mulls over things until they are ripe and ready to be shared. He is the thoughtful one.
Anyway, I digress again. My new friend. She is also independent, free-thinking, a geologist, a 30-something year old, quick to judgement, hot headed, full of steam. She reminds me of how I used to be when I was 10 years younger. I hope she sees in me what she would like to be when she is a nearly 40-something year old.
We may share a common thread.
Why is it so hard to make friends when you get older?
Maybe cool is different now, and I'm not cool anymore. I know I thought I was, once. When I was at University, I felt like an invincible 20-something year old, independent, free-thinking physicist.
Anyway, I digress. I have a new friend. And she thinks I am all of those things - except a nearly 40-something year old. Perhaps it is only I that thinks less of me now. I no longer feel invincible. I've had plenty of rejections to know that I'm not THAT special. Sure, I'm intelligent, independent, problem-solver and I usually get what I want. But not always, and I have to work for it. I've seen it come easy to some, but not that easy for me.
Don't get me wrong, I live a pretty easy and privelleged life. But I also know that it takes work. Stuff isn't always black and white, and sometimes you need to break your own rules to get ahead. You need to find some compromise between your principles and the way the world works.
This uncertainty about myself comes from a more 'looking before I leap' attitude to things. I'm just a bit more cautious about rushing to conclusions. I've generally been one to do so... and had regrets later. My husband is quite the opposite. Thinks things through, mulls over things until they are ripe and ready to be shared. He is the thoughtful one.
Anyway, I digress again. My new friend. She is also independent, free-thinking, a geologist, a 30-something year old, quick to judgement, hot headed, full of steam. She reminds me of how I used to be when I was 10 years younger. I hope she sees in me what she would like to be when she is a nearly 40-something year old.
We may share a common thread.
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