Mum. Unedited.

I watch you take your fatal fall Your scream envelopes the heavens You arms scramble They reach out for me I try to grab you.  But I miss.  Beautiful boy.  You look peacefully still. Dead, but oh so alive!  Basking in the mountain sunshine On this perfectly blue-sky day.  Silence fills the thin mountain air.  I see your broken body Mangled and unrecognisable. The mountains moan quietly,  Another son is lost.  Hours turn into days And days into months. And slowly I rise from your ashes.  I now carry your burden too. And what an honour it is. This world glistens in your light. You have made my unconscious conscious. You have every inch of my love.  I know we are old friends. Forever together.  I’ll wait until morning When I close my eyes And I’ll see you again.  Your life fades And mine shines in its place.  You die And I am born. 

I walk into the cedars wondering if I'll see you today. The early morning fog feels thick with my impenetrable thoughts. The trees are quiet today. They watch me as I walk over to you. I walk down the winding path To where we always meet. I sit on the wet grass It smells of a new day. An old familiar smell. I've been here before. At first every day, But now less often. I close my eyes, I take it all in. Be here. Now. Time stands still. I think of only you. We meet again. I feel your love. I always find you here. Tears fill my face. My breath is cold. You quietly whisper to my soul. Only I hear you. The silence we share. It's ours, together. You are me, and I am you. I know this all too well. Here, I know I can let go. Be with you, in your arms. Just us. Me alone. Let's hold hands. Stay a while. It doesn't last. I hear footsteps in the forest. And you are gone. A tear runs down my neck. Darling, I'm ...