Mum. Unedited.

  I wait for the words   To come out of the silence. But for now, I only hear the music. Only I hear the music. It’s playing a sad song today. Piano. Then violin and cello batter the strings of my heart.  A tear breaks free And it runs down my cheek. I think of the love lost. A love treasured. Your sweet smile, your tender voice.  It tears me apart.  We are one, and yet Who am I? But only a shadow of your being.  Take me with you To the bottom 10,000 miles below Where time is standing still.  Under water.  A guitar starts to strum. Reminiscing the good times we shared.  I know that I’d rather have lived a day, with you Than a lifetime without.  But if I could only have one more of those carefree days. I’ll miss you for the rest of all of my days. Our moments together come alive  In my mind’s eye.  I almost smile, welling up with gratitude.  That you ever lived.  I will always r...

I watch you take your fatal fall Your scream envelopes the heavens You arms scramble They reach out for me I try to grab you.  But I miss.  Beautiful boy.  You look peacefully still. Dead, but oh so alive!  Basking in the mountain sunshine On this perfectly blue-sky day.  Silence fills the thin mountain air.  I see your broken body Mangled and unrecognisable. The mountains moan quietly,  Another son is lost.  Hours turn into days And days into months. And slowly I rise from your ashes.  I now carry your burden too. And what an honour it is. This world glistens in your light. You have made my unconscious conscious. You have every inch of my love.  I know we are old friends. Forever together.  I’ll wait until morning When I close my eyes And I’ll see you again.  Your life fades And mine shines in its place.  You die And I am born. 

I walk into the cedars wondering if I'll see you today. The early morning fog feels thick with my impenetrable thoughts. The trees are quiet today. They watch me as I walk over to you. I walk down the winding path To where we always meet. I sit on the wet grass It smells of a new day. An old familiar smell. I've been here before. At first every day, But now less often. I close my eyes, I take it all in. Be here. Now. Time stands still. I think of only you. We meet again. I feel your love. I always find you here. Tears fill my face. My breath is cold. You quietly whisper to my soul. Only I hear you. The silence we share. It's ours, together. You are me, and I am you. I know this all too well. Here, I know I can let go. Be with you, in your arms. Just us. Me alone. Let's hold hands. Stay a while. It doesn't last. I hear footsteps in the forest. And you are gone. A tear runs down my neck. Darling, I'm ...

The present moment is fleeting. And it's here to stay. The present moment is complete. And it completes me. It is full of all my joy and carries the weight of all my sorrow. The past lives here, the future lives here. The present moment is a clean slate. The present moment never judges. The present moment is cold. And yet it is full of tenderness. In it I love you, I miss you, I fall again, and I grow. In it I slowly watch my life unfold, one moment at a time. The present moment is a gift. The present moment breathes life, it nourishes me. And in it I also die. It is all I will ever have. It has in it all I will ever need. The present moment is infinite How can it encompass it all? Some days its weight is so heavy And yet it carries in it the lightness of being. In the present moment I bleed, And it is here I find my salvation. In it I am crushed And I am reborn. The present moment is unforgiving. But always an opportunity for a new begin...