Mum. Unedited.

A weekend filled with nostalgia and memories.  Drive over the Sydney Harbour Bridge in your car.  Lunch time dessert from Lorraine's Pattisserie - New York cheesecake and dark chocolate eclair.  Afternoon walk through the hilly, leafy streets of Neutral Bay to your apartment.  Sunset at Bradleys Head, pink sky and velvet blue ocean.  Spinach chaat, sambar vadai and masala dosa for dinner at Malabar. With a nice glass of Pinot Noir.  Life was simple but perfect with you.

I hold on tight to this place inside me Where the pain, the hurt, the sorrow live.  Shaping the sands of my soul. This place of grief, this is my place.  It is the only pure place I know Where we meet without seeing where we speak without talking Where we love without touching. It is the beginning and the end. Love never leaves here.  I must travel to the deepest recesses But I always find you here. Unbroken. Untouched.  We move through here skillfully Like skaters on thin ice.  Our extremities are cold But our souls are on fire. This place is as real as any.  Here my pen flows But I remain speechless.  I come here to see through your eyes Feel through your heart. I come here often. My veil of deception has come off Only the universal truth lives here.  In this stillness nothing stirs Except my tears. They glisten in your gaze.  I am overwhelmed Grief is the only real feeling I know It tears me to pieces...

I see you everywhere.  In all forms. In the formless.  You are  In the vastness of the night sky. In the depths of the bluest ocean.  The twinkle in the stars The blinding power of the sun. You are  The blood coursing through my veins The wilderness in my mind The music that brings me to life The beauty I cherish through my eyes  The tears that warm my heart. You are The quivering blade of grass The mist that hangs heavy in the chilly mountain air The thundering rivers after a monsoon The summer storm that batters my heart. You are  The majesty of the universe And the fragility of life.  You are  My joy The distance that keeps us apart. You are  the light that gives the gift of life The darkness that envelopes it all. Every new sunrise and every grey cloud. You are  My dreams unfulfilled The truth that grounds me to this moment. Every breath of life in me. You give me courage To be bold, to be frail To start again.  To fail. Yo...